Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize