Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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