Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
