shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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