That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
