ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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