i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
