This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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