these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
