You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
