all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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