As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
