There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
