I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
