this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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