There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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