i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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