it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
