Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize