Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
