fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
