he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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