sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
