Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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