it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
