there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is that strawberry winking at me??
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
