i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
