What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
