see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
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You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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