You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
