I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
