You're my little dorito
another moral hangover. fuck.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
