her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
