Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
