So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
