Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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