I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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