do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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