Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
