I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
