this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
