Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
