I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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