those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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