Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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