I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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