I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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