He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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