walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
