So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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