you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
