I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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