i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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