I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
