Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
