did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
