I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
