I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
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At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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