Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
