all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you win again, gameday.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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