Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize